Good news!!!ย 

FINALLY!!! Good news!! 


Well it might be after all the imagining I’ve had done… but I do have good news. 

I slightly mentioned EDS (Elthros-Danlos Syndrome) and the possibility I might have it. 

Well I went and saw my PCP and he said the only way to test if you truly have EDS is to do a muscle biopsy and if I did truly have EDS it wouldn’t matter because there is nothing to do about it. No cure, no preventive. Nothing. So… why go through a muscle biopsy for no reason?! He did say that if I ever need a joint replacement then I might consider getting the biopsy done due to the fact that my joint would have more issues reconnecting after surgery. Dr. Trumble told me he would patch and stitch me up as if I had a connective tissue disease anyways. So I’m in the clear. I don’t have to get anymore medical testing done!!! ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽ‰

Well in other news… 

I’m having issues with my daughter. She is scared to death over all of this stuff and is afraid I’m not going to make it out of surgery. And I know that’s not going to happen but how do I make her believe that?? 

We even have matching our fits ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿฆ„ Lately our relationship has grown so strong. But I must admit I’ve been making some changes. I’ve been trying not to show my stresses, I’ve not been letting the little things get to me and I’m not yelling at the kids as often. I strated using essential oils, I tried a yoga class and I’ve been eating less sugar and more healthy. My mind is in a much better place. But it’s hard to figure out I need to do in order to take this fear from Malia. 

Isn’t she just beautiful? All that innocence and purity she has. ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ’œ That unconditional type of love that only a kid can have for you. I know parents love you unconditionally, but there’s no love like a child’s love. I fight this battle with my head held high because I have Malia and Dominic watching me fight. Dominic thinks his moms a super hero how could I let him down? 

Anyways.. if you have some tips or kind words on how to help kids through something like this, I would appreciate that! 

Sincerely,

Unicorn Mom looking for answers ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿฆ„

WTF! Chairi Malformation?


Well last Thursday I had my surgical consult. Let’s just say I was less then prepared…. but more than ready. 

Meet my hero!!! Dr. Eric Trumble… I’ve always hated living in Orlando with it being so over populated and traffic is horrible and the people are just CRAZY in this state (I was born here). But the one thing I never thought I would need was a top notch board certified neurosurgeon. So I will count my blessings, I’m pretty lucky to be in a city large enough so I don’t have to travel to see the best of the best. So we will call it a win considering how rare Chiari Malformation is. 

So how did I prepare for my neurosurgy consult? 

I cried a lot, I mean a lot. I was very mad at the world, I took it out on my loved ones and they could tell a difference (and were also getting frustrated with me).. The thing is I never quite learned how to deal with life disturbances coming from a rare brain disease ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค” , so I wasn’t really sure how to handle my emotions. But I knew that my consult was going to give me the peace of mind I needed in order to “regain” my sanity. But what I was able to do with the help of my boo and my momma dukes was: 

  • Make a list of symptoms 
  • Ask questions- I read that you should practically interrogate the surgeon (we didn’t have to because he’s the bomb.com)
  • Bring tissues
  • Don’t eat a heavy meal before going 
  • Discuss alternative options 
  • Bring a loved one or friend to take notes (you will not retain any information) 

You’re going to do what to my brain?!?!

โ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐Ÿผโ˜๐ŸผThat’s what I was thinking when he was letting me know our plan of action! So here’s the deal. I need a laminectomy of C1 disc and he will be doing a decompression (shave/remove bone) from my skull so my giant brain can fit in there. He will also open the Dura flap and then patch it up with my own organic tissue. ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข sounds fun right?! They will be shaving like 2×4 inches of hair from the back of my head ๐Ÿ˜ฑ!

Kick me while I’m down…

So with all that rare brain disease news my surgeon wants me to see a rheumatologist and get tested for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome… ok now WTF is that?! It’s another RARE DISEASE… Come on body, why you gotta do me like that. I’ve been sooooo damn good to you. I eat healthy I work out, I take very good care of myself so why?! Well only Master J knows and I’m sure it’s a part of his plan… ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

 

After emotions:

I didn’t know what to think…. now all I can think about is how am I going to pay for it? How am I going to afford my bills? I’m a single mom with a single income coming in. So what am I going to do?! I don’t know but I’m not going to give up. I’m going to fight for help. I also have to consider my kids and close family and friends emotions. My daughter is about to be 12 and she’s so scared for me. I am not sure how to take that fear away from her. I’m not sure how to take that fear away from myself. 

This Thursday I go to my primary care doctor to talk to him about the EDS and what the next step is for that. I’m going to set up my surgery for end of September or early October. 

Even unicorn moms get scared. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Sincerely,

One Scared Unicorn Mom 

How I battle the mid-day crisis!


๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿผ

That’s what my brain says at 12:30 every day like clockwork… Monday – Sunday!!! Not only am I a nutrition nut ๐Ÿฅœ but I’m also a dental assistant ๐Ÿ˜ฌ- my day starts at 5:30 am and ends at at 9:30 pm.. If I didn’t have an afternoon pick me up I would probably go on some sort fit of rage….. ๐Ÿ‘น

Why did I tell you I’m a dental assistant?!


That’s why!! Energy drinks are sooooo bad for your overall health!! Tooth erosion, dental cavities, weight gain and many more bad side effects come to drinking those “over the counter” energy drinks.

So that’s scary right? It’s not worth drinking if in the end it’s costing you $$$$ to maintain your teeth and other health issues!

So what in the hell to drink??ย 


CELSIUS!!!!ย 

Do you see the ingredients?!? ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅโ˜„๏ธ all natural!!!!! Whattttt that’s insane: premium brewed green tea (using filtered water), natural flavors, fruit and vegetables for flavor and color…. 200 mgย if coffee ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰ Yes please!!

It’s just enough caffeine to power me through the rest of the day and helps burn fat when you drink it!ย 


That totally calls for a drink hug.

And not to mention it’s something I can drink and it doesn’t effect my Chiari Malformation. Rule number 4 on my “short list” of 22 things to avoid with a Chiari Malformation: “avoid caffeine, alcohol (I think they mean in moderation) aspirin and high sodium food”. I’m not going to lie booze hurts my brain. I have to drink 2-3 and that’s it. My beloved wine is the worst. My brain hates it but my body loves it.

Also drinking a ton of water and staying hydrated will also help with energy levels.ย 

Pick your poison wisely…. cheers!

-Sincerlyย 

Unicorn Mom

How do you believe in yourself?

I’m not really sure if I have that answer. I can on0c2fd604a9ce5b20adbf843460bd2e02ly tell you what helped me.. So after I tired all of those “get skinny quick” gimmicks, things kind of started to settle… “Shit, I’m going to have to make that “lifestyle” change everyone is talking about..”

FIRST- don’t look at is as a change.. View it as doing what is healthy for our bodies.. We learned at age 9 about a Food Pyramid and how much and often you need to eat. I know that the higher up on that pyramid was candy, therefore you eat less.. The point is you shouldn’t be all that surprised you are where you are… It didn’t happen overnight and it’s going to take a while to get back to normal.. But that’s okay..

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SECOND- It’s ok to get sweaty, tired and sore…. no it’s nothing like sitting on the couch drinking a glass of vino while watching the latest Bachelor episode.. But it is creating a foundation for a healthier you. Don’t you want to outlive your parents?? EXERCISE!!! Starting out slow is a good thing. Think about going to the gym, the way you feel now may not feel good but just Imagine the feeling that you get from losing 5 pounds or reaching a new PR (Personal Record). My unicorn child started working out with me at crossfit and is ready to start competing in it, so one day she did not want to go to the gym. Just because she was tired.. So I said to her ok… that is fine but remember how good you feel afterwards! So she came and did the workout with a salty a$$ face… after we did the cool down she said “that was exactly what my body needed” How incredible is it that an 11 year old can feel that?!? **Moral of the story** GET SWEATY TIRED AND SORE.. it will make you feel better!!!

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Look at that beautiful smile while working out hardcore at crossfit โค โค Making Momma proud ๐Ÿ™‚

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THIRD: Do you even lift???

If you are just starting out, you don’t have to join a gym to get started.. remember like Forrest Gump did; I just ran and ran and ran until I didn’t feel like runnin anymore.. I started with one WALK…jog….WALK around my neighborhood… then I started to incorporate walking lunges, air squats, push ups and so on until I felt good enough to go to the gym. I also used Instagram to learn some at home workouts.. (You don’t need to buy a fancy program either.. there are a lot of people hooking you up with free and good info on the IG). Anything that you start doing will help you… even jump roping for 10 mins a day will help you burn fat… Start small don’t overwhelm yourself with a new big and scary gym.

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The most important key to success is to just believe in yourself.. No else will if you don’t believe in yourself… Be selfish.. Concentrate on your health, body and mind and trust the process…

***SLOW PROGRESS IS PROGRESS***

Sincerely,

Unicorn Mom

 

#StarbucksKilledAUnicorn

Ok- how many of you guys went out on day one and actually got to try one with all the pretty sprinkles and blue syrup and all the deliciousness Starbucks hyped it up to be?! 


We did, we did!!!!!!!


Normally Starbucks has a brief nutritional info on the menu for their drinks at least the calories. I figured the Unicorn Frappรฉ didn’t because it’s just a temporary menu item.  But GOT DAMN Starbucks. Why you gotta do me like that?!?! 

I ordered it as is assuming you should never alter a true unicorn… then I saw that… โฌ†๏ธ!!!!!! ๐Ÿคค turned into ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ฑ real mofo’n quick. Like real quick.  

๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿšซ click me to be amazed ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿฆ„

I WOULD HAVE TO RUN FOR 50:40 just to burn off one freaking stupid drink that doesn’t even taste like a mango dreamscicle ๐Ÿ˜ค I’m so glad I didn’t like the way it tasted and I had like 5 sips (which was probably 300 calories) and put it where is belongs. 

So thanks #Starbucks for killing a unicorn… what did they ever do to you?!? Besides MANGO?! What the fu@k… like don’t you think cotton candy or bubble gum would be the favor to best represent one of gods mythical creatures?!? ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ˜ค 

Ok end rant… 

What to drink instead? 

I get the Nariรฑo 70 cold brew VENTI, with almond milk and stevia ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ- so basic, right? 

Well go a head and think so and I think you should be too- macro nutrients for said coffee drink= 5 

Just 5 calories… and then add 30 for the almond milk 0 for the stevia.. if you want some flava add sugar free vanilla to it!! 

I work to hard at what I got to ruin it with things like that! It’s ok to treat yo self ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคด๐Ÿผ but if you fat shame yourself like I do then that drink is not worth it. (Of course opinions are like assholes…. everyone has one) I would have much rather had a cupcake then that excuse for a “sweet treat” 

-Treat yo self cautiously-

-Sincerely,

Unicorn Mom

Semi-Shortened Back Story.. Kinda..

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After it was certain that my marriage was over was when it really set in, I looked in the mirror and had no clue what I was looking at. After The Dominator was born I weighed 120 LB’s… So how did I go from 120 to 170?? I was 19 when I had the kid and then 25 when I finally looked in the damn mirror. It took 6 years to destroy my body… I knew that if I didn’t stop then it was only going to get harder (and how was I going to find a hottie?!) So how do I lose weight the right way- to you know have the flat stomach with a nice round ass? I started to do some research.. “In order to achieve a flat stomach big booty you have to eat 900 calories a day and squat for 567 hours per day, no rest!” OKAY… ย Well for someone who normally eats 3 plates of spaghetti for dinner with 3 cookies and milk to follow that’s easier said than done. So I started small.. I jogged one time around my block…..

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So along with my “run” (walk) around the block I just started to eat less. Instead of 5 plates of food I just had one helping instead of having a donut and coffee for my snack I switched over to a yogurt with berries. So of course I lost about 20 LB’s.. Now that I saw some progress I thought about joining a gym. I lived in Las Vegas at the time so the hip spot was LVAC… Las Vegas Athletic Club.. So I got on the phone made an appointment and called.. They said “we’ve got everything you need and more to help you get fit”

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When I pulled up the place looked scary… very very very scary.. and expensive… I was thinking it most cost to $150 a month to be a member at this fancy “Athletic Club”…. So I went on the tour and I was totally sold on the fact that women had their own private gym inside the club. That was exciting because there was no way in hell I wanted any of those buff sexy guys watching my ass try and figure out the weight machines. So long story short it was only $29.95 a month that included day care. I just had to sign mylife away for 365 days. SOLD!!!! Well I ended up moving back to the good old sunshine state and didn’t want to stop my fitness journey but I wasn’t ready for the gym yet, so I went back to running. I got settled into my apartment- I ended up at a big local chain gym and started training. I got sold on a Bikini Competitor’s life and that started my journey to BODY COMPLEX HELL… Like seriously, hell. I never thought dieting and exercise could hurt somebody. I was so scared of carbs and fat that I was starving myself because I wanted to look a certain way. Thank you sweet baby Jesus that it was only a “short” lived “phase” I use “” because I may be using those terms lightly. I snapped out of the obsession and wanted to try crossfit because it looked fun.. Right.. Flipping tires, lifting weights, doing extreme burpees and doing monkey tricks on bars.. I’VE GOT THIS.. So I found this local gym.. Crossfit Battle Cry..

As cheesey as it may sound, but when I joined crossfit my whole life changed. My body image issuews slowly went away. I had to start eating because crossfit is no joke. I put on good weight and lost the bad kind. Toned up and decided to start competing in local competitions for fun.

Anyways – I just wanted to share a short but semi-sweet background… Getting to where I am now should have been a whole blog in itself and I should have started a long time ago. I don’t think my story is unique or anything.. I just think by me spreading awareness on how the strong survive can’t be too much of wasted internet space…. right??

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That is an MRI of my brain… and what you are looking at is called a:

Chairi Malformation; A condition in which brain tissue extends into the spinal canal.

SYMPTOMS:

Pain areas: in the neck
Muscular: muscle weakness, problems with coordination, stiff muscles, or overactive reflexes
Sensory: pins and needles, reduced sensation of touch, sensitivity to light, or uncomfortable tingling and burning
Visual: blurred vision or double vision
Also common: difficulty swallowing, headache, nausea, rapid involuntary eye movement, ringing in the ears, vertigo, or impaired voice

AWSOMEEEEE!!!!!ย 

My life revolves around lifting weights.. So now I have to be VERY careful how I lift weights and do crossfit. I am fortunate to have a great support group around me to help me modify movements and cheer me on even though I feel handicapped. My biggest daily struggles are with pain, my speech and my balance. *I AM A FALL RISK*

The answer to my ย problem is decompression surgery… that pretty much means a brain lift… maybe I’m’ being dramatic but that pretty much sums it up…

What in the world am I going to do?

I am so scared.. Each day is a new journey and it really feels like I’m battling my body all day every day. And we all know what they say…

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-Sincerely,

Unicorn Mom

 

What is Unicorn Mom?

Unicorn Mom:

ย  ย  ย  ย  /’yoone korn /mom/ – noun

A mother who is not perfect, enjoys booze, has a sense of humor and could careless about what you think.

ย  ย  ย See also: Beautiful; Boss; Strong and Zero F#?k$ given.

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At the ripe age of 17 years old I became a Unicorn Mom! I had an amazingly beautiful, smart, sassy and dramatic daughter named MALIA, she is truly the reason for the Unicorn transformation.

malia

A couple years later I had her brother DOMINIC or Domino; the T-Rex of the crew! He is all boy- handsome, smart and funny. He is always telling jokes and trying to make us laugh.

cray

The kids got pretty lucky, they got to grow up with their mom! Must have been fun right?

Hahaha, yeah.. Fun..

I know what they mean by “planning for a baby” now. Needless to say life wasn’t perfect we had many hardships including going through a divorce. I thought for sure my ship would sink and there would be no way I would be able to raise a family by myself. On top of being 25 and freshly divorced I was OVERWEIGHT!! How was I supposed to get a new man if I felt like crap about myself?!

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YIKES!! That was the heaviest I ever weighed and I have no clue how much it was. You couldn’t have paid me enough money to step on a scale. What was a girl to do? Oh, I know…. Go to a get skinny quick clinic and spend $1,365,746,684,514.00 on painful shots in my stomach, fat burners, “waist training” torture devices and who knows what else. Not to mention I gave myself a HORRIBLE ย mental complex that I was the ugliest and biggest human that roamed planet earth and everyone also felt the same way… Needless to say none that that worked (or was true) and something clicked!! What’s the right way to loose weight? Healthy eating, food journals and exercise. WHAT?!?!? Guess what? It worked (not those STUPID it works wraps, but clean eats, portion control and exercise).

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Heyyyy- Look at me now! I would say I lost about 40-50 LB’s. Like I said, you couldn’t pay me to weigh myself. There is no secret. I CHOSE to take charge of my personal health and make that lifestyle change. I need to live a long healthy life for my kids and my new found love <3.. I don’t follow any certain “Paleo” diet or anything like that, I just food log with a food tracking app, eat clean for the most part (I am a Unicorn at heart and LOVE sugar, spice and everything nice {everything nice= BOOZE}). I also belong to a CrossFit gym where my mini diva and I train together!

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I am so happy with my life right now- I am going through some tough medical issue, I found out I was born with a Chairi Malformation- WTF even is that?! Its where my brain sits about 2 inches into my neck space area, it rests on my spinal chord and causes massive pain and headaches. Jealous?? Probably not, it sucks I’m currently consulting with a Neurosurgeon for my “Decompression” surgery. Yeah its just as scary as it sounds. But I want to spread awareness for this disease and show people that just because you go through a divorce with a 5 & 7 year old at the age of 25, struggle with life expenses, or get told you need brain surgery: LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!!

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YOU CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH!!! (I just took the Unicorn approach)

-Sincerely

Unicorn Mom